5 Steps to Create More Peace and Ease in Your Relationships ...

conflict and more connection?
Moving from conflict to connection is not a quick fix.

It a process which I believe has 5 key elements?Awareness, self-regulation,?communication skills, willingness and self-care.

Follow these five steps and you will find that ?your life will?flow with far more ease.

Yes, it will take some work up front. But, isn?t it true that ?what is most?worthwhile requires our effort and participation?

Try? this formula for bringing more peace and ease into your life.

1) Seek to become more aware!

We all see the world through different lenses.
Learn about temperaments and personality styles. Tools like?Meyers-Briggs and the Enneagram are great for self discovery, personal reflection, and?gaining compassion and appreciation for others. Observe yourself. Understand how you?approach conflict, are you reactive? Or repressive? Do you lash out?openly, passive aggressively? Or do you avoid and find yourself ?depressed? learning about the way you show up in the world will help you to effectively respond to others, rather than ineffectively react?to them.

2) Learn to self regulate!

Once you build some self?awareness, it will be easier to notice what triggers you

to be defensive and want to fight.
Pay attention to the cues that your body gives you. Does your belly?get tight? Do your shoulders tense up? When you sense conflict?happening, bring your attention to your body and notice what your?nervous system is doing. If you are in fight, flight or freeze, you?will have a skewed perception. Breathe into your body and if possible,?hold off reaction until you can regulate your nervous system and give?a more effective response.

3) Commit to expanding your Communication Skills!

My favorite tool for?moving from conflict to connection is?Compassionate Communication.(Also known as Non-Violent Communcation.)

Learn to be authentic in?expressing what you are feeling without being critical or condemning.
Learn to identify unmet needs that are causing distress for you and others.

Learn to respond to others compassionately, with out reacting?to the judgments of their perceived story about you or others.

Learn?to be genuinely empathetic.

Just remember, as a general rule, no one wants to hear what you have?to say, unless they believe that you understand them first. Alway make?your intention to connect with the individual first, then you can create a?space of mutual trust and understanding.

4) Be Willing!

Be willing to value the needs of others as much as you value your own.

Be Willing to let go of old paradigms and be open to trying new?strategies?

Be willing to be patient with others.

Shift your perspective from ?Power over? ?to ?Power With?

Move from demanding your strategy as the way to solve conflict, to?requesting understanding or requesting a willingness to come up with a?strategy that meets both of your needs.

Also?Be willing to make mistakes and find your way!

These 5?suggestions are a strategy. If they don?t work for you, practice
seeking solutions that align with your sense of truth. Notice what
creates connection and what doesn?t.
Be willing to be patient with yourself! Be willing to ?make mistakes and keep trying!

It?s can be very challenging to?learn to communicate without judgment or without trying to persuade.
Nobody is perfect. If you are sincere and patient with the process, it
will pay off in dividends!

?The better you feel, the easier it will be for you to handle stress!
This is different from Self regulation in that self regulation is?immediate. It is catching yourself in the act choosing to calm?yourself.

Self care is a habitual life style choice.

It is about eating foods that support you, exercise, community support, having a spiritual practice
or something that feeds your soul. It is an ongoing ?way of life!

If you don?t practice all five of these concepts are you doomed to lead a life of conflict? No.

Will you expand your capacity for more peace, joy and love in your life? Absolutely!

Be well! Be happy! Be peaceful!

Jennifer

Source: http://jbpeacesolutions.com/2012/11/01/5-steps-to-create-more-peace-and-ease-in-your-relationships/

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